


a normal couple a days in the life a eridan ampora

by ruenruinsthefandom



Series: a load a stuff wwhat happened to eridan ampora [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, totally not wwritten by eridan wwhat a fuckin unfounded accusation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 23:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruenruinsthefandom/pseuds/ruenruinsthefandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>okay this fic is practically non-fiction to be honest this shit could a wwell gone dowwn an frankly its kinda a travvesty that it didnt</p><p>revveiwws</p><p>"wwoww so truthfull" - eridan ampora</p><p>"iit repre2ent2 me perfectly" - some lowwblood no-one cares about</p><p>"8/8" - vvriska serket</p><p>"OH MY *GOD* YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE WRITING SHITTY RPFS ABOUT ME YOU-" wwait howw did that one evven get in there</p>
            </blockquote>





	a normal couple a days in the life a eridan ampora

  
so i, uh i mean, eri wwas stanin around on lowwaa an then kar wwas all like "FUCK YOU" an eri wwas all like "wwhoa sloww dowwn kar at least take me to fuckin dinner first." so they wwent an had a really nice meal on lopah an eri didnt evven think about fef durin it an it wwas basically the best an then wwhen eri wwalked kar back to his hivve he kissed him on the hand an kar blushed but they didnt fill a pail because it wwas the first date an some people havve fuckin standards okay 

anywway wwhen eri wwas makin his wway home he bumped into kan on her planet an eri wwas all like "hey kan howw are things" an she wwas all like "my moirials a bitch" an i wwas all like "yeah i can fuckin relate" an wwe talked about howw fuckin ovver eri wwas for vvris an fef an howw they really didnt evven matter in the first place an wwere alwways fuckin nothin but small fish in the first place an then they talked about some a kan bs problems too an kan revvealed she wwas pretty much in the pale throes for eri an he wwas all like "kan i see you need a diamond an i can fill that quadrant for you" an she wwas so happy an eri papped her an it wwas great because eri wwas doin out a the charity a his heart an not because he needed a moirail cause he wwas his owwn fuckin man, but if kan needed some help wwhat kind a friend wwould turn dowwn another friend in need 

the next evvenin wwhen eri wwoke up he wwas feelin pretty fuckin good becuase he had a sexy matesprit an a sassy as shit moirial an sol didnt wwhich wwas probably wwhy he wwas so angry an requestin a duel an eri bein a gentleman couldnt fuckin decline that not evven from some bipolar lowwblood prick wwhat wwas gettin some serious ideas abovve his station 

so sol shot some fuckin eyeblast or wwhatevver at eri wwho simply shrugged it af wwith his toned sexy seadwweller body an wwrestled sol to the ground but sol suddenly started makin out wwith him an then they did that for a bit until eri pulled awway because like he wwas gonna wwaste his hate on some lowwblood scum 

after that eri called up kar again an they wwent for a nice wwalk in lomat becuase it wwas basically the only planet not covvered in fire or angels or shit an it wwas a realy nice day an they held hands not the eri noticed becuase he wwas wway too cool to be flustered by holdin hands wwith a guy an then wwhen the day wwas ovver eri kissed kar on the lips an they still didnt fill a pail get your head out a the fuckin gutter 

anywway wwhen eri wwas goin back to loraf to tell kan about his date he wwas ambushed by vvris not that eri didnt see her comin becuase he did an vvris wwas all like "8 s8ww wwh8t y8u d8d t8 s8l an 8t h8s m8de me real8se 8 m8ss y8u" an eri wwas about to be all like "sorry but i am still totes ovver you" but then he remembered wwho he wwas talking to an they started to h8snog an it wwas awwesome but eri had a pale date wwith kan an becuase he wwas a dutiful an all around really good moirail he had to run 

wwhen eri got to loraf kan gavve him a hug an it lasted like just that perfect amount a time an he felt great an they talked about the evvents a the day an about vvris an kan said she wwasnt evven flushed for her anymore she wwas flushed for some girl from he internet or wwhatevver an eri wwas all like followw your dreams an then they cuddled for a bit but eri wwas a man so he had to go back to lomat 

eri knocked on vvris door an wwhen she opened it she wwas in her old flarpin outfit an it wwas gettin a bit small for her an hugged her really snuggly around her curvves but he wwas a guy wwith more important things to do than oogle troll boobs so he pushed vvris against the wwall an they began hatesnoggin again an then they movved to the respite block an did the do wwhich eri totally kneww howw to do an wwas great at an really kinda showwed vvris up an eri felt kinda sorry that she wwas not as naturally gifted as him at doin the do an vvowwed to help her wwith practice becuase it wwas his job to get her in shape an make a wworthy kissmesis out a her 

the next evvenin eri wwas feelin pretty good about himself an started makin preparations for a romantic meal for him an kar on lowwaa so he decided to glub at fef to make her get some better defenses in place from the angels an then they had a perfectly civvil convversation wwhere eri didnt evven think about fef in a red sense an fef started glubbin at him wwith some problems about sol an eri wwas all like "you shouldnt take shit from that guy" an fef wwas all like "but ww)(at could i do?" an eri wwas all like "i could auspistice for you guys" an fef wwas all like "WWOWW ---ERI T)(ANK YOU!" an eri wwas all like "thats fine fef i hope wwe can sort things out for you" an then they stopped glubbin because kar wwas at the door 

wwhen kar opened the door he wwasnt in his normal tatty black shirt he wwas wwearin this fuckin sexy grey blazer ovver a button up red shirt an eri almost swwooned because he wwas too hot an eri wwas all like "wwhoa kar wwhat happened" an kar wwas all tsundere not that eri kneww wwhat that wwas because wwho evven wwatches troll animes an wwas like "I DIDN'T DO IT FOR YOU FUCKASS, I JUST WWANTED TO LOOK NICE FOR ONCE IS THAT TOO MUCH OF A FUCKIN CRIME" an eri just grabbed him an they started makin out an didnt evven eat their meal an did the do because it wwas the thrid date an therefore fuckin appropriate for twwo gentlemen to do an kar wwas better than vvris wwas wwhich wwas really a surprise to fuckin no-one lets face it 

the end


End file.
